Parents:
The transgender and gender nonconforming child needs a safe environment in which to thrive. They need parents/guardians, schools, friends, and those in helping professions to be advocates. If you find yourself in a position where you are dealing with such a child make sure that you get advice from a profession who is familiar with these issues. It may mean contacting someone in a city in your state or on the east or west coast. The Gender Spectrum Organization is a good place to start. It is common for parents and advocates to travel large distances and sometimes even relocate, in order to help their child. It is so important to let the child know that they are loved and that it's ok for them to be who they are.
One word of warning: when you hear someone suggesting that the child should be discouraged from expressing their true selves (eg. taking away a doll a boy is playing with or making them conform to traditional gender standards) know that the child is being hurt by this. They are being punished for being who they are. Seek advice/counseling elsewhere.
No one ever said that parenting is easy. The difficulty can be compounded when raising a child who is gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or transgender. It is important to remember that this is the child's nature; you are not to blame. Children are born with a birth sex, a gender identity, a sexual orientation, a gender expression. These develop as a child matures. Children need a loving, safe, compassionate, accepting environment. This is about your child, not what you think your child should be. They need to know that it's ok to be who they are, regardless of the dictates of society or fear about what others might think. Of course the child needs to be kept safe, but to keep who they are in the closet or to prevent a child from being themselves, can cause severe emotional damage to the child you are trying to protect. Keep in mind that your child may scared and confused that they don't fall into
stereotypical societal roles. To force an LGBTQ or gender variant child to conform will do nothing to help. If you seek the help of a professional, please make sure that they have the training and experience needed to deal with LGBTQ issues. This might mean having to seek out help in a metro area. Local, rural communities are often lacking with the needed services. It's not uncommon for parents to relocate to a location that can provide services and is more diverse and accepting.
The LGBTQ child cannot live in isolation. They need to associate with other members of the LGBTQ community. This allows the child to see that they are not alone. It is possible to connect with someone who can serve as a mentor to help both you and your child cope with issues specific to your child's development. To grow up being "different" is so hard. The child doesn't need their parents to make it even harder.
Over the next few weeks there'll be more information and links posted here. You may find information on other pages of the website useful. Today, there are many children's picture books that can be affirming to both the parent and child. There are books written for parents and professionals to help them understand their child and provide a loving environment.
A good place to go for information and support would be PFLAG (Parents, Friends, and Family of Lesbians and Gays). There are several PFLAG chapters in Wisconsin. PFLAG services the entire LGBTQ community. We hope this year to start a PFLAG chapter, here in Walworth County. Here is the link to Milwaukee's PFLAG: PFLAG Milwaukee
If you or a friend have a child or teen who may be gender variant, there is a lot of information from Gender Spectrum.
The Family Acceptance Project has a wealth of information. Many of the ideas on this website are the result of reading their literature and that of authors who work with the project. Here is their website: http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/
Parents, if you think that your child may be gender variant or transgender, there are several pages of useful information in our Transgender section. Here is a link to a video made by parents of transgender children. CLICK HERE
Read about parents of transgender children (Click Here)
Here is a link to an insightful article from the Milwaukee Journal. (Click here)
The transgender and gender nonconforming child needs a safe environment in which to thrive. They need parents/guardians, schools, friends, and those in helping professions to be advocates. If you find yourself in a position where you are dealing with such a child make sure that you get advice from a profession who is familiar with these issues. It may mean contacting someone in a city in your state or on the east or west coast. The Gender Spectrum Organization is a good place to start. It is common for parents and advocates to travel large distances and sometimes even relocate, in order to help their child. It is so important to let the child know that they are loved and that it's ok for them to be who they are.
One word of warning: when you hear someone suggesting that the child should be discouraged from expressing their true selves (eg. taking away a doll a boy is playing with or making them conform to traditional gender standards) know that the child is being hurt by this. They are being punished for being who they are. Seek advice/counseling elsewhere.
No one ever said that parenting is easy. The difficulty can be compounded when raising a child who is gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or transgender. It is important to remember that this is the child's nature; you are not to blame. Children are born with a birth sex, a gender identity, a sexual orientation, a gender expression. These develop as a child matures. Children need a loving, safe, compassionate, accepting environment. This is about your child, not what you think your child should be. They need to know that it's ok to be who they are, regardless of the dictates of society or fear about what others might think. Of course the child needs to be kept safe, but to keep who they are in the closet or to prevent a child from being themselves, can cause severe emotional damage to the child you are trying to protect. Keep in mind that your child may scared and confused that they don't fall into
stereotypical societal roles. To force an LGBTQ or gender variant child to conform will do nothing to help. If you seek the help of a professional, please make sure that they have the training and experience needed to deal with LGBTQ issues. This might mean having to seek out help in a metro area. Local, rural communities are often lacking with the needed services. It's not uncommon for parents to relocate to a location that can provide services and is more diverse and accepting.
The LGBTQ child cannot live in isolation. They need to associate with other members of the LGBTQ community. This allows the child to see that they are not alone. It is possible to connect with someone who can serve as a mentor to help both you and your child cope with issues specific to your child's development. To grow up being "different" is so hard. The child doesn't need their parents to make it even harder.
Over the next few weeks there'll be more information and links posted here. You may find information on other pages of the website useful. Today, there are many children's picture books that can be affirming to both the parent and child. There are books written for parents and professionals to help them understand their child and provide a loving environment.
A good place to go for information and support would be PFLAG (Parents, Friends, and Family of Lesbians and Gays). There are several PFLAG chapters in Wisconsin. PFLAG services the entire LGBTQ community. We hope this year to start a PFLAG chapter, here in Walworth County. Here is the link to Milwaukee's PFLAG: PFLAG Milwaukee
If you or a friend have a child or teen who may be gender variant, there is a lot of information from Gender Spectrum.
The Family Acceptance Project has a wealth of information. Many of the ideas on this website are the result of reading their literature and that of authors who work with the project. Here is their website: http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/
Parents, if you think that your child may be gender variant or transgender, there are several pages of useful information in our Transgender section. Here is a link to a video made by parents of transgender children. CLICK HERE
Read about parents of transgender children (Click Here)
Here is a link to an insightful article from the Milwaukee Journal. (Click here)